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Leg day: Fri → Fri (19d) Recess

GAVEL
BREAKING: Motion to read bills before voting — DEFEATED 435-0 • DEVELOPING: Committee discovers 'common sense' — Immediately tables it • ALERT: Congress schedules recess from recess • UPDATE: Bipartisan agreement reached — Both sides agree to disagree • FLASH: New bill proposes making bills shorter — Bill is 2,000 pages •

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ABSURDITY INDEX OF THE UNITED STATES

THE ABSURDITY INDEX™

Real bills. Real absurdity. Satirical common sense.

119th Absurdity Index, 1st Session of Futility

Most Absurd Real Bills

Members Present: 3 of 535 — Quorum NOT reached (as usual)

Real legislation from Congress, ranked by absurdity

FEATURED
H.R. 2112 Real Bill
Signed

Pizza as a Vegetable

The spending bill that blocked USDA reforms and effectively kept pizza counted as a vegetable serving in school lunches. Because two tablespoons of tomato paste is basically a salad.

Absurdity
9
Rep. Jack Kingston
FEATURED
H.R. 3 Real Bill
Signed

Bridge to Nowhere

The 2005 transportation bill included a $223 million earmark for a bridge connecting Ketchikan, Alaska (pop. 8,900) to Gravina Island (pop. 50). Fifty people. A $223 million bridge. For fifty people.

Absurdity
9
Rep. Don Young
ABSURDITY INDEX OF THE UNITED STATES

VoteChain

A Voter Verification Blueprint

What if we could verify every voter's eligibility with math instead of paperwork? VoteChain is a blueprint for cryptographic voter verification — no partisan games, no suppression, just proof.

Explore the Blueprint →

From the Absurdity Index

Satirical bills that actually make sense — fresh from the floor (or possibly the floor drain)

FEATURED
H.R. 2026 Not Bill

Minimum Moral Standards for Public Service Act

Requires sitting members of Congress to undergo periodic ethics and background screenings at least as rigorous as those required to drive for Uber, volunteer at a public school, or adopt a rescue dog.

Rep. Ethica L. Baseline (I-MN)
Ethics
FEATURED
H.R. 867 Not Bill

Reply All Prevention Act

Makes it a federal misdemeanor to use the 'Reply All' function unnecessarily in government email systems, punishable by mandatory email etiquette training and public shaming.

Rep. Delilah Delete-Key (D-IL)
Technology

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