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Privacy

ABSURDITY INDEX OF THE UNITED STATES

Privacy Policy

Last updated: February 10, 2026

AbsurdityIndex.org is a satirical editorial project, not a government service. We keep data collection intentionally minimal.

  • No ad trackers
  • No accounts required
  • Functional local storage only

What We Collect

  • No user accounts: You do not need an account to browse this site.

  • No ad trackers: We do not run ad-tech scripts. We use Microsoft Clarity for behavioral analytics (see below).

  • Standard hosting request data: Hosting providers may process technical request data (for example IP address, browser metadata, and request timing) to deliver and secure the site.

  • Local browser settings: We store a small set of settings in your browser to keep preferences consistent across visits.

  • Aggregate pageview counter: We maintain a running site-wide visit total without user accounts, ad IDs, or cross-site profiles.

Local Storage Keys

These values stay in your browser and are not used for advertising profiles.

theme
Saves your selected color theme.
font-pairing
Saves your selected font pairing.
filibuster-best
Saves your best Filibuster Simulator score.
absurdity.perf
Optional debug flag for client-side performance logging.
analytics-opt-out
When set to "true", disables Microsoft Clarity analytics. Toggle via the settings gear.

Cookies

Absurdity Index does not set first-party advertising cookies. Microsoft Clarity and Microsoft Advertising may set first-party and third-party cookies and other tracking technologies for behavioral analytics purposes. Infrastructure providers may also use strictly necessary mechanisms for security and platform operations.

Third-Party Services

  • Microsoft Clarity: We partner with Microsoft Clarity and Microsoft Advertising to capture how you use and interact with our website through behavioral metrics, heatmaps, and session replay to improve our products and services. Website usage data is captured using first-party and third-party cookies and other tracking technologies to determine the popularity of content and online activity. Additionally, we use this information for site optimization and fraud/security purposes. For more information about how Microsoft collects and uses your data, visit the Microsoft Privacy Statement.
  • Google Fonts: We load fonts from Google-hosted endpoints.
  • Cloudflare Pages: Hosts and serves the site and may process request metadata for performance and security.
  • External links: Sites like Congress.gov, social networks, and GoFundMe apply their own privacy practices.

Your Choices

  • Disable analytics: Open the settings gear (bottom-right corner) and toggle "Analytics" off to opt out of Microsoft Clarity tracking.
  • Clear browser storage to remove saved preferences and game stats.
  • Block third-party resources (such as remote fonts) using browser settings or extensions.
  • Use private browsing mode if you do not want settings to persist.

Policy Updates

We may revise this policy as features change. Material updates are reflected by the "Last updated" date on this page.

Contact

For questions, complaints, or constitutional crises, please contact your local representative. If they are in recess (they are), file a strongly worded memo via our submission form.

ABSURDITY INDEX OF THE UNITED STATES